every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
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