Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
