I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
