: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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