hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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