I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
