I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The beer is more important than you right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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