Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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