had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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