WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
