took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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