Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
