i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
