I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you will always have a special place in my vag
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
