He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
