Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
