dude i'm inner monologue high
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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