He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
