is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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