No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
