You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize