Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
