hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just gargled with NyQuil
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
