he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
