would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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