YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
