I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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