I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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