Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize