Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
