you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
