Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes