YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
