I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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