put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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