We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
