Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
