hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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