none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
