Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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