best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
