the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
