Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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