Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
