There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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