Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
