I could make wine with my vomit
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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