So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
