i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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