there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
