apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
