I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
