Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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