Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
