I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
