i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
