i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
