I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
