Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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