She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
