Having a random hookup so left but love u
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We have started to decorate penises.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
