Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
