you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So. Much. Porn.
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