Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
